Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Hypocrisy

What the? Brent how come you took so long to post? Well I'm going to give you the shortest version of what's been going on, I've been depressed, and being having a large losing conflict with my flesh, its desires, and God's plan for me, and not to meation being stuck to seeing it from a runners perspective through the hedge maze of life (Only Ashley Mayer will understand that part).

So for Christmas, I got a stocking stuffer wrist band that says Disciple on it. It's really neat, but I don't think it should say Disciple, or at least I shouldn't wear it with honesty. My wrist band lately would have the words hypocrite written all over it.

You see, I've had my angry discussions with God lately, and one I don't like having discussions with God b/c I'm super frustrated and my flesh and Satan have being kicking my butt in the struggle between God's plan, and my fleshly desires. But I have had a few interesting visions, insights from God, yes God, even though my flesh has been telling me over and over that they were just thoughts in my head, stupid flesh, I'm going to talk about them whether it likes them or not.

One was actually really had nothing to do with anything I've talked about, or does it, I don't see from the bird's eye view on this one (again Ashley knows what that truely means, and I'm going to be a jerk and not explain it to the rest of you :P).

Anyway, it had to do with Stars, you see Christians are like the stars in the sky. When we are born again, we start off like a small dwarf star, not very bright, nor very big, but when surronded by many other stars these can make the most beautiful of constilations. Anyway, as we grow, so does are light to the world, its our job to shine it, you see our faith is what makes us grow, just like how expanding gases make stars grow, the more the gas spreads, the bigger the star gets, the bigger we expand our faith, the bigger we grow as Christians. Where would I be on this star perspective, well, I've grown alot during this past year, even though my flesh doesn't want me to know that, nor is Satan very happy about it. I would be a very bright star, but the only problem, is I'm a star way to far away from the telescope for you to see. See I've fallen short of God, and it's gotten me down, so I stopped trying, I was lost in my depression and self sorrow, I'm far away from God, just like a star to far away in the night sky. I don't very bright when I'm far away, and I need to strive to be more closer to the Lord so all can see the light of God shine through me.

It's too bad that no matter how far you are from the telescope, God can see you, and see what your doing.

Stars are very different, some go dim before they burnout, some burn brightest in their entire lives before they explode, impacting all the other stars in the galaxy. I want to be the one that burns as bright as it can, it's whole life, the one that impacts the whole world before it goes out. It's not impossible to win the world for Jesus, if you believe it is, stop listening to the enemy. I like the fact that stars also get sun spots, the parts that become dark, they sorta take away the beauty of the star, just like sin stains us as Christians, unlike sun spots though, sin can and will be taken away because of what Jesus did for us. He is the brightest most flawless star of them all, and will never go out.

So I'm going to be posting a bit more about other subjects, especially one about my blogs, and how I need to stop doing them for people to read, but doing them to share the news of what God has spoken to me.

I've stopped memorizing scripture and reading daily passages for now, that doesn't mean I won't read my bible, or memorizing scripture, it just means, I don't need to be held accountable by you guys anymore, I need to not do it b/c I'm oblegated to, but to do it to bring God pleasure. Now I have a house to get back to cleaning.

-Brent